Guitar/vocals
Chinchilla 'Road Stock' Cantilever
'Road Stock' formed the band in September 1967 just after the Summer of Love (during the Autumn of squabbles and break-up). Learning the guitar by listening to and imitating bird song, his big break came when he joined the Early Birds, penning a string of Top 50 hits including the eponymous, "Cheeky Freaky Beaky Road Stock Blues". Spending most of the 1970s in and out of rehab, and a short spell in prison for inappropriate use of amplification in a confined space, he is now a fully reformed alcoholic.
Guitar/vocals
Didgery Donut
Didgery is the only other member of the band to suffer from diphallia. His arms are made of a thin material imported from Belgium where they make chocolates. Born in a cave and raised by Barbara Woodhouse, Didgery always reponds to 'sit' and 'walkies'. He loves having his tummy tickled although sometimes he has a hole in his middle. Sometimes there's jam.
Bass/vocals
Abba
ABBA gained international popularity employing catchy songs like "Dachau Blues" and "Sugar n Spikes". Their music incorporated atonal hooks, dada-esque lyrics, and a Wall of Sound achieved by electrocuting the female singers. As their popularity grew, they were sought after to tour East Anglia and parts of the Midlands, drawing crowds of irate pre-teen fans, notably all with beards. Sharing one bass guitar, each member of ABBA takes command of a string.
Drums
Geoff 'Big Bang' Bucket
Geoff is the only member of the band to be made purely out of thought. As an existential construct, he is generated by the cognitive processes of the other band members and can only manifest whilst they are performing songs over 90bpm. Having played drums for about two weeks he has just about found the beat. He lives in a bass drum with a cymbal for a roof. He uses drum sticks as tooth picks and thinks art is best when it refutes the conformist standardisations of the culture industry.